Sometimes I get overwhelmed by all the technology swirling around me. Between the blogger, twitter, facebook, linkedin, and avenues I’m sure I haven’t even heard of, I often start to wonder “how will I ever get ahead?” Most times, just when I think I’ve stumbled upon a great idea, I find a new yoga site doing spectacular things (things I’d like to do), and wonder “why didn’t I think of that?” It’s not easy being a yoga blogger in this fast paced world, but I truly believe the work I do means something, even if it’s just for me.
I had a conversation with a co-worker today that left my mind spinning. There’s so many ways to take this creation. For me, it’s more than just an outlet. It’s a passion. I’d love nothing more than to spend my days writing, teaching, and learning, but my realities haven’t gotten me there…yet. Finding time to knuckle down, network, and create whatever outreach I can, is more than I have to give sometimes, but yet, I keep going. I keep giving.
I often wonder, is it realistic for me to even hope that someday there will be some kind of break through? That I will connect somewhere, way out there, with someone, that will see what I see in me and give me a chance. It has to be, it just has to be. I’m a dreamer in the true sense of the word. But they aren’t pipe dreams. These dreams in fact, are within my reach.
Earlier this year I grew very disgruntled and tried to walk away from all of this. From writing, and teaching, and everything that I had grown to love so much. I told myself that “it will never happen, so why waste the time?” But something deep inside wouldn’t let go. And, it still won’t. I still want and need need this outlet more than ever. I believe it’s my dharma.
Capricious Yogi is a true labor of love and every moment that I spend writing and sharing my thoughts with the great unknown, is never ill-spent. I’m grateful for the opportunity and know that one day all of this great energy will surmount to something spectacular. I can feel it!
If not, I’m okay with that too. For at least I’m being true to me.
How do I balance this calling versus the overwhelming feeling that I’m way far behind? How do I manifest my dreams? Simply, with patience, understanding, acceptance and above all faith. That’s what keeps me grounded. It pushes me forward and keeps me going.
I know that if I continue to do my best, than that’s all that I can do and whatever happens, happens. Where my intention goes, the energy follows.
I intend to never give up. Never stop sharing. Never stop believing.