Tuesday was my last day of work.
I left my office with a lot of mixed feelings. I’m really going to miss some of my colleagues, but am happy to be done with the work and projects I was involved in. Given the chilly farewell I received from my boss, I think it’s safe to say I made the right decision. Onwards and upwards!
If you’ve been following my blog at all, you know that I’ve been struggling with what to do about my work situation for some time. What started out as a need for health insurance and steady pay, slowly became a major stressor in my life, impacting my relationships and most of all my health. Not acceptable. It is our right as humans and spiritual beings to be happy and allowing my health to succumb to the toxic environment I found myself in, was not worth it to me. Forget all of the other things I’ve had to deal with this past year or so, the job has been gnawing away at my insides for way too long. So I decided to make a change.
It was not an easy transition or decision. Well, I guess that’s not totally true. The decision to find new work was easy, finding those nuggets of work was not. I’ve been applying to jobs for some time with little response. It seemed the more I sent out there, the less I heard back, until I finally stopped to consider what it was I wanted to do with my days and why I wasn’t hearing back. I’m qualified for everything I was applying for, so why the silence? After much self-reflection and consideration, I started to wonder if maybe the Universe had other plans for me (generally the case) and I began a process of manifestation and designing the lifestyle I want to live. What I came up with was a decision to put my purpose into action. I needed to have more time to teach, write and be involved in the yoga community. These are the activities that fulfill me and really get me going. I’m still working on some of the minutiae of what my ideal lifestyle looks and feels like, but I know now that I’m taking the best steps to get there.
So, that’s where I’m at. I’m two days away from my old job, starting my new, freelance work and feel so much better, as if this huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders! I’m lighter, freer, happier and much more fun to be around. My health is already starting to improve and I can only anticipate that it will get better with time. I know I will be much busier than before, piecing all of this work together, and it will take a certain amount of organization to do so, but I believe it’s worth it. I need to trust my gut instincts and find balance in my home and personal life. I need to feed the projects that make me feel good and put myself in nurturing situations, rather than toxic ones. I need to be realistic about my time and energy and serve up what it is I have to offer–pure, unadulterated enthusiasm for life, creativity, and all that is good!
photo by CameliaTWU