If you been following me on Instagram, then you know that today marks the final day of my 40 days of meditation. I’m really proud of myself. When I started this, I thought there was no way I’d find time every day to sit and be still. Our life is loud and raucous from the moment we wake up in the morning until the time we go to bed at night. I desperately miss the calm of my life, but love and cherish the messy, loudness it has become.
The 40 days of meditation wasn’t my own idea. I was working with an energy healer who suggested it to me. I had come to her quite confused about where my path was leading me. I felt like I had nothing to offer, but so much to say. She suggested I get back to a daily meditation practice, even it was three minutes a day, to help gain clarity and peace of mind. I know the benefits of a consistent meditation practice, so I decided to go for it.
Being a visual person, I made a checklist for myself which I posted on my refrigerator and marked off daily. I put it in a place where I could see it and it would not get overlooked. It stared me in the face each day. I did this to keep myself accountable and also as a visual representation of my progress. I started with three minutes and quickly worked my way up to ten.
I really like to meditate in the morning before the day gets started, but my life isn’t conducive to that right now. The mornings are all about getting everyone up, ready and out for the day. Instead, I chose to practice while my son was at school or napping. If I was too busy to do that, then I practiced before bedtime. I don’t normally like to do this because I’m too tired, but you do what needs to be done, right? There were even days where I meditated in my car in between running errands and picking Noah up from school. Again, not ideal, but I had the time. I knew that if I missed a day I had to start all over and I really didn’t want that to happen.
As with any practice, there are always lessons.
Lesson 1—I like to meditate, but better than that, I like making myself take time to do something good for myself every day. Just a little bit of self-care goes a long way.
Lesson 2—the more I practice, the more I thrive. The last twenty days of practice I incorporated alternate nostril breathing almost every single day. I felt more grounded and clear than ever before. I missed this part of my sadhana and am happy to have it back. Like an old friend, we support one another.
Lesson 3—it’s damn hard to sit with yourself every day, but you have to acknowledge all your messy parts as well as the beautiful parts if you want to move forward in life. I think this is why most people give up their practice. It’s not the time that’s the problem–though that’s an easy excuse–but coming face-to-face with yourself is really hard. Noticing how your thoughts wander and the stories your mind weaves can make you feel like crazy town and when that happens it’s way easier to give up than keep going.
Don’t give up. Get back up and try, try again. There’s no perfect, there’s only practice.